It is true, Hurt People, Hurt People!

     October is a month of a few worthy awareness causes, Domestic Violence and Breast Cancer.  In my opinion it is a time to remember and work towards stopping both  issues as they both primarily hurt women and their families.  Unfortunately,  domestic violence usually starts early on in life, and continues for generations unless the cycles are broken.

    Many women find themselves in situations where gaslighting is apart of their daily lives.  Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse where a person can be made to feel "crazy" or out of touch.  For example, a woman sees her husband openly flirting with a woman in her face.  She confronts her husband , and his reply is "You're imagining things, and you know I would never do that."  Another example is, a child reveals his sexual preference, and it is not heterosexual.  A parent may gaslight by saying to the child, "It's just a phase, and you will grow out of it."  The bottom line is gaslighting is real, hurtful, emotionally diminishing, and causes many insecurities.

    Those that inflict domestic abuse upon others whether it is emotionally or physically usually are victims themselves that have unresolved issues.  It leaves the victims with hard decisions to make during a very uncertain and hurting time in their lives.  It can be difficult because usually the abuser is someone they love and trust.  So many are left with pondering the fantasy of  loving their abuser through the hurt to healing.  The truth is, it is a FANTASY! Most have mental health issues that have never been addressed.  Unless, the abuser chooses to seek help and does the work to heal, the cycle will continue to get worse.

    A few Signs of an abusive relationship:

1.  The abuser makes you feel unsure.

                2.  They devalue you

                3.  When you point out things that bother you, they deflect the conversation from themselves

                4.  They make you feel unsafe around them by yelling, hitting , depriving, shaming, and                             manipulating.

                5.  They say and do vicious things to you.

                6.  They always put themselves first.

                7.  Threaten

                9.   Alienate you from friends and family.

              10.  They accuse you of doing immoral things that they are actually doing.

    There are many of signs.  The most important thing is if you are being abused or know someone that is, seek help and plan a safe departure.  Listen to your instincts and never question them.  Stay focused on the fact that healing is ahead, and dismiss the negative thoughts of loss.

 Please reach out if you need help seeking services.  

LifeCoach702@live.com

 or Schedule a time to chat or meet with me

Information on how to move forward in your Life Journey