Recipe for a healthier relationship, Romantic or Otherwise

Relationships are just like plants, they all need time, patience, care and feeding .

        To nurture positive friendships and relationships surround yourself with the kind of people you admire.  It's okay to be discriminatory of whom you allow in your circle because that will affect you directly.  If you allow those that are always taking away your time, energy, care, finances, and sanity, eventually you will end up emotionally bankrupt.  The same goes for people with negative mindsets.  These people will always give you the cons of every situation and why everything won't work in life. So you may have to leave them behind and come back for them when they are open to a more positive outlook.  Know that is hard work building a balanced life.  If you work hard at having positive relationships and balance, life will be easy.  If you let life dictate to you, life will be hard.

    Always, guard your heart and your private life.  Many of us have made the mistake of sharing our heartbreak or disappointments with family.  That can be a trap door.  Because if you have come to a place of resolution with the person or persons you once had conflict with, family will tend  to be stuck on the negative issues you have shared with them.   Keep in mind to only share with family what you don't mind being repeated to others.  As we know from the game of telephone, things are not relayed the same as you presented it.  It can be the initiation of confusion and dismay.  Be sure to share the positive aspects of your life more than the heartbreaks and pet peeves you have with your other loved ones.

    Keep in mind, that just because a person has been married for several years doesn't equate to them being superior or a relationship expert.  Know that many people marry and are married for many things outside of a partner sent by God and unconditional love.  Some of the reasons that were not of the right reasons to get married include:   growing up without illustrations of love and affection; not having conversations about healthy relationships built on healthy communication; trying to please others; financial gain; rescue; and mistaking the action of marriage for love.    Many people marry to escape family curses not realizing the curses don't stop just because they physically left .  It is important to face the issues through attempts at healthy communication and the guidelines as set forth in the bible.  The bible has direct instructions on resolving conflict by going directly to the person you have conflict with.  If that doesn't work, then you are to go to an elder in your church or a trusted non bias individual to assist in resolving the conflict.  Most importantly it is necessary to face your generational curses head on or you will end up bringing that baggage into your relationships whether they are romantic or not.  Many people that have gotten married and stayed married to keep up facades.  They are very unhappy and it shows up in their conversations and limited healthy living.  They are concerned with staying married for the children, finances, what other people will say and think, or it gives them some sense of false security because they are fearful of being alone.  I am not in anyway advocating for divorce, but there is no way "to fake a marriage until you make it successful."  What you will make is a life of misery, meanness, negative talk,  sending a message of settling to your children and division within your family. 

The important elements of having healthy relationships are:

1.  Having positive and assertive communication

2.  Set boundaries for yourself and have consequences in place for when they are crossed.

3.  Follow your instincts and pay attentions to red flags.  People will let you know     what they are about.  It's important for you to believe them.

4.  Really get to know people and their background before  opening completely up.      Some people are not good at showing you their authentic self. Time will reveal        all things.

5.  Never assume they have the same values as you have developed for yourself.  Ask them about their moral  compass.

6.  Know your triggers and let them be known as the precursor to your boundaries.

7.  Read your bible daily.  In my opinion it is the recipe to life and relationships.  Find a bible that is easy for you to comprehend. 

 
8.  Be around those that share your passions, inspirations, likes, and interests.

9.  Avoid people with negative outlooks and gossipers.  Please note that if you are listening to gossip, that you are also  the topic of that gossipers newscast too!

10. Read positive literature daily as it helps to understand and have compassion for others; listen to motivational  media; have an exercise routine; fill your spiritual tank daily; and GIVE MORE THAN YOU RECEIVE WITHIN OUR UNIVERSE.

Many times we need to evaluate ourselves frequently.  Are we being examples of the people we want to attract in our lives?  Positive mindsets set the tone for all relationships.  Avoid feeding your subconscious words of defeat, less than, or as a failure.  We have all failed, but we have all learned something from failure.  In order to be successful, it is wise to focus on the lessons learned from failure instead of focusing on failing.  Keep the mindset of learning and growing as you get closer to achieving your goals.  

Thank you for reading.  I would love to get your positive feedback.  

Be Blessed,

Ms. Roni~